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Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Depression. Show all posts

Saturday, August 17, 2013

Silent Saturday

Today was a Silent Saturday.
When I was in  group therapy, members often
talked about isolation.
I completely understood as I have
 isolated myself plenty.
  1. Today I never left the house despite the fact it was a gorgeous day.
  2. The phone never rang.
  3. I only talked to my animals.
  4. I took a long nap.
  5. I did email with my friend and told her my insecurities.
  6. I ate a lot.
This is how it feels.

Saturday, July 20, 2013

Mouth Droppings

Mouth Dropping

I had lunch yesterday with several old friends to  "celebrate" my departure from teaching and depression.  <Mouths DROPPED>  Who knew I hid my physical chronic pain and my unhealthy depression so well?
Few People Knew...

It was September 2012 and I had an injury to my foot and couldn't work because I was told to stay off my foot.  By  December 2012, I returned to work, saw that my medications were not working well and requested a new depression drug. I continued to suffer with my depression doing awful things for weeks. 

My emotions  were raw and I spent the Christmas season, alone, and at home crying in private.  I finally got smart and went back to the pharmacy and got a refill of my old depression medicine. The blend made me feel better until I could see my doctor.

I was also suffering from bronchitis. I was in and out of one infection or another. I had to go to the ER for several breathing treatments.  On my third trip to the ER, in answering the ER nurse's questions, I admitted I was depressed.  I said I had a plan but had not acted on it.

I never saw her after that, she gave me some drug to take the edge off.  I fell asleep and when I woke up, all of my belongings were gone and I had been placed in a locked holding area.

I asked what was going on and they said I was being held because I appeared like I was suicidal and I was going to be admitted to a mental hospital.  "WHAT? I needed to get home and take care of my animals." I was in the hospital for five days.  Then I had to group therapy for a month in April.

Was I tricked or was it a blessing?