Another Reason

I thought of another reason to have passion in your life. 
It is to have friends who like what you like.    







Tonight I did something I rarely do. I went to a lecture on quilting by a woman I barely know except from some mutual friends. At the quilt meeting were several of my friends, who I have made from attending quilt guild meetings over several years.




In an impromptu "blurting out," reminiscent of  the  "You like me, you really like Me." speech by Sally Fields, I told the ladies at my table, that they were the best part of coming to quilt guild. I said: "They got me." 
Then, one by one, they said, well, we don't really understand you, we can't
do what you do, but we appreciate what you do!

The Science of ‘You Like Me! You Really Like Me!’            

By Matthew D. Lieberman               
October 8, 2014              

Even if you’ve never seen the 1984 film Places in the Heart, in which actress Sally Field portrayed a 1930s southern widow trying to keep her farm out of foreclosure, you no doubt are familiar with Field’s acceptance speech for the Academy Award the role won her. “You like me,” she declared. “You really like me.” With the strong emphasis on the word really, it’s a classic example of the adulation that actors crave.

There are two errors in the previous paragraph, one more important than the other. The minor error: Sally Field did not actually say this line in her acceptance speech. The real line in her speech was, “I can’t deny the fact that you like me, right now, you like me.” We probably misremember the quote because of the other, more important error. It isn’t just actors who are primarily motivated by being liked; we all are. The misquote is so sticky because it exemplifies a central human need.

We all have a need to belong. Signs that others like, admire and love us are central to our well-being. But until very recently, we had no idea how the brain responds to these signs. Recent neuroimaging has changed that. 

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Perhaps the most dramatic positive sign that we can get from another person — short of a marriage proposal — is to read something that person has written to express their deep affection for us.

Link: http://nymag.com/scienceofus/2014/10/explaining-you-like-me-you-really-like-me.html 

Reprinted from SOCIAL: Why Our Brains Are Wired to Connect. Copyright © 2014 by Matthew D. Lieberman. Published by Broadway Books, an imprint of Random House LLC.        


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#artist,  #art,  #friendship  #well-being,  #quilts,                                                               

Mr. Wrong is Back

          My Mr. Wrong is back in my life. This is so my life.

Seasonal allergies come to mind. First, you deny you even have a problem with allergies. Your doctor puts you on allergy medicine, and you don't take them because-- you are still thinking, it's not a problem for me. Then, one day, you are miserable, sneezing, coughing, clearing your throat, have dry eyes, and then you hit the side of your head, thinking, oh yeah, the doctor says I have allergies. 

I took Mr. Wrong back in my life back even tough he is not a good partner for me.  He is not a creep, not be-littering, not un-educated, never cruel.  He listens and makes me laugh.  He is a kind and a caring friend to many and people think he is fun and charming.

The problem is I have taken the main road for too long, and I have forgotten to take the scenic drive, the one with adventures, places to stop and enjoy life together, enjoy the day, spend the evening in quaint cafes stealing bites of food from one another's plate, enjoying the view, and at the end of the day making the most of one another's company. A dream, maybe, a wish, clearly, reality, never, status, clearly-- "okay."

Tip-toe back into my life with your whispers that make me remember why we are together at all. Say the things that make me want you here, next to me. Forgive you for the hundredth time for plans that I imagine, and fall through. Learning to accept this the part that I really hate.  Hide those emotions.

Depression comes from big disappointments. Too many of them to count. You learn to accept what the situation is, and will always be. I'm starved, for the "real" meaning of my soul mate. You have taught me to settle for the brand "X" and not what I really want.

What is good is really good. I just need more time enjoying the time spent with you... and more of us. Give it some thought to this will you? Value me for the good person I am. 

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#depression  #sadness   #feeling low  #love life  #Mr. Wrong   #romance  #disappointments  #my situation  #taking him back  #value me  #be positive  #best of each other

5,000 Reads Update

I turned 60 last week.  If I had a neon sign I would plant it right here.
Making peace with a lot of things.  My children's path in life, my feisty sense of it's not all over yet, removing toxic people from my life and acceptance that the past really does need to be forgotten.  I am into self-healing now. My spirituality started with #11:11 and knowledge of Annie, my angel, and am no longer ashamed to mention it to who ever listens, since in is a part of me and not the scene out of "Beetlejuice" where the people bring their spirits to the table and everyone starts dancing.
Dropping out of social media was a good thing.  People contacted me- at least those who missed me.

        

Finding people have lives as difficult as yours is an understatement.  If we admitted to it more, we wouldn't be wondering why they stopped calling and act so remote.

I celebrate my good friends who enrich my life with a sense of #community and say thank you.

          I am not happy about my financial situation, but I was able to obtain a new(used) car             and continue to have a roof over my head.

            My friendly dog (Peaches) is my companion.

            My diet is a work in progress.  I was craving chocolate so much today, I made brownies,    

                but don't tell anyone!

 Artistically Speaking:



        In May, I am beginning a quilt class that I received a full #scholarship to take at #QSDS.
        It is a  one week class one dyeing and painting.  I am looking forward to getting messy.

       Three of my quilts will be exhibited in: 

                 Party on  -  "An exhibition of art quilts expressing our obsession with parties        

                        of all  types, whether celebrations of special days, or of the political variety." 

                 Location: The Richard M Ross Museum    Dates of exhibition: May 13- July 1, 2016
    
         I am exhibiting this December 2016 at #Fresh A.I.R. Art Gallery in Columbus, Ohio.  

         A.I.R. means   Artist in Recovery, and I will be revealing my #depression by making

         lots  of #quilts. 
          Title: Revealed: Narrative Quilts (Whimsical Moments and Real Life Experiences.)

 

Another Battle

      

 

This is the battle that always makes me feel BLUE.

From the time I was young I have been heavy, fat, and now, a word I despise, OBESE.  I do know how I got here, I love food.  Rich, gooey, tempting and delicious in many forms and I love it all.

But now, the food "truck" has to pass me on this road. Because holy cow, I am way over my limit, and my passion has to be re-directed into something good for me, not an unlimited amount of what is making me so

heavy I can only think of the pain my body feels every day.

Millions of people are judged by their looks and I admit- I can be judgmental myself. I can honestly say, I see what they see, but I defended myself due to my depression. They made fun of me, said horrible things to me, were rude, and made me miserable. Did I ask for this treatment? NO!!

I am going to try to lose this weight for me. Not planning to do this for my children, nor a romantic partner, or a list of other reasons. I just want to walk without hurting.  I want to get from here to there on two feet.

-Amen

                                Cats Jumping Over the Moon (Detail) C Jeffers