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Saturday, April 23, 2016

Mr. Wrong is Back

          My Mr. Wrong is back in my life. This is so my life.

Seasonal allergies come to mind. First, you deny you even have a problem with allergies. Your doctor puts you on allergy medicine, and you don't take them because-- you are still thinking, it's not a problem for me. Then, one day, you are miserable, sneezing, coughing, clearing your throat, have dry eyes, and then you hit the side of your head, thinking, oh yeah, the doctor says I have allergies. 

I took Mr. Wrong back in my life back even tough he is not a good partner for me.  He is not a creep, not be-littering, not un-educated, never cruel.  He listens and makes me laugh.  He is a kind and a caring friend to many and people think he is fun and charming.

The problem is I have taken the main road for too long, and I have forgotten to take the scenic drive, the one with adventures, places to stop and enjoy life together, enjoy the day, spend the evening in quaint cafes stealing bites of food from one another's plate, enjoying the view, and at the end of the day making the most of one another's company. A dream, maybe, a wish, clearly, reality, never, status, clearly-- "okay."

Tip-toe back into my life with your whispers that make me remember why we are together at all. Say the things that make me want you here, next to me. Forgive you for the hundredth time for plans that I imagine, and fall through. Learning to accept this the part that I really hate.  Hide those emotions.

Depression comes from big disappointments. Too many of them to count. You learn to accept what the situation is, and will always be. I'm starved, for the "real" meaning of my soul mate. You have taught me to settle for the brand "X" and not what I really want.

What is good is really good. I just need more time enjoying the time spent with you... and more of us. Give it some thought to this will you? Value me for the good person I am. 

#depression  #sadness   #feeling low  #love life  #Mr. Wrong   #romance  #disappointments  #my situation  #taking him back  #value me  #be positive  #best of each other

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