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Friday, December 30, 2016

Falling in Love with HOPE

                      it is something very vague to me

                     I know I am picky, but I can't even find a good 
                     "Hope" quote on the internet that isn't too sappy.

                     So here is my Hope List in no particular order.

                    Drinking too much coffee and hoping to get
                                to the bathroom in time.

                    Doing something up to the last minute and
                    hoping you won't be late for an appointment.

                    Hoping the friends you have today will still be
                                          there tomorrow.

                    Having another health set-back and clearing it
                    from your mind hoping you can cope and
                    only a few people would understand anyhow.

                Hoping your beloved pet with be with you a long time.

                         Knowing that dreams often come true.
                   My family is not perfect but I am hoping we can
                                 go on and love each other.

                   My blog started to heal myself, but my words
                           have reached over 6,000 views.

                    My depression and my confidence    
                         improves every time I write
                              something positive.
                            Happiness and more...

                                   Art by CBJ J

Friday, December 23, 2016

It All Comes Together

Two days ago...
I thought I needed to make one last gift.
The gift wasn't necessary, but I thought it would definitely express my appreciation.

For the last several months, my nurse aide has helped me shower because I have to shower in a black boot for support. We didn't know how to go about it at first. It required me holding onto my walker and backing into the shower. Then she hands me a towel and I hobble to my bed where I dress and she puts an ace bandage on my foot for support so I can continue to walk in my regular boot.

Both of us were in the Bah Humbug mood this year. I miss my kids and I wish this darn boot could be trashed. I will survive this holiday as I always do, but it is hard. I imagine what other families do when you have a family around and in my mind every one is civil and no one tattle tales. LOL is replace with Ho Ho Ho and there is a bright star guiding us.

Monday, December 5, 2016

Counting Down

After a big push always comes the let down.

We all let out a sigh when a big project is done, but for people like me there is the sigh, the endless sleeping, isolation, eating, (especially sugar), mind wandering and feelings of what happens now?
For several days now, I have meant to: clean up my work space, do laundry, walk the dog, get Christmas decorations out, get my dressy outfit picked out, feel charged.

I n s t e a d :

I have watched multiple episodes of Cops, ate comfort food, sat around looking out the window,
slept 10-12 hours, denied all of my issues, felt sluggish, everything took too much effort, didn't wash my hair, took twice the time to do something simple because I couldn't imagine the logically way, left the same two pennies laying on the floor for four days, ignored the dirty bathroom, and doubted myself. I mean really doubted myself.
I told my friend "I was use to feeling rejected." She was bothered by that comment. I meant no harm- only stating the truth.

The monthly weather test alarm went off while I was calling to make a doctor's appointment today. The office worker kept telling me she couldn't hear me. I wondered if the ringing of the alarm had anything to do with the signal she was getting from my cell phone. I was going to say something, but figured she would think I was weird. Who makes a phone call and blames the ringing of the test alarm that she couldn't hear me? Maybe I am on to something real and scientific. We will never know. That's what happens when you have doubts.

ART WORK  by Cathy Jeffers

I need some income right now to pay off monthly bills. I am putting this out in the world in hopes that somehow, it will be received by someone who hears, and can let this unknown source of money be found somehow.

I was reading another depression blog and I want to share. Good reading about depression and an award winner. Her addiction is shopping.
#I am depressed  #depression #my symptoms of depression #depression and sleeping  #the release

Saturday, December 3, 2016

Finally, My Life in Art Quilts

My fellow Depression Heads, with depression comes many hard times, but also some very good times.  Fortunately, I was able to "work through" much of my worse days using art as my voice and I can honestly say, Art has saved my life.

I will have a solo exhibition in Columbus Ohio. The dates are December 7th to January 13th 2017. Fresh A.I.R.stands for Artists In Recovery. The gallery hosts about eight exhibitions per year. It is a supportive environment for all with mental illness and substance issues.

I encourage you to find your creative outlet. You don't have to be great at it- just do it for the enjoyment. It will give you time to think about art, and time to heal.

#artist in recovery    #art quilts  #telling my story  #healing  #art saved my life  #support  #depression