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Thursday, December 31, 2015

Thank You, Thank You Very Much

Goodbye--to you 2015.  I'm leaving you this year banged up, bruised, un-productive and with many problems. It's cool that 2016 isn't even officially here yet, and I can announce some Good NEWS!

I was offered a SOLO show for next year in an art gallery in a big OHIO city. Maybe as many as 35 quilts. The space will be filled with my ideas, my moments, my descriptions of life through art quilts.  Plenty to do before the show, but excited none-the less. I would say it's comforting to make them and have them appreciated.


#2016  #goodnews

Thursday, December 24, 2015

Give me Credit


           Depression Heads:            

Give me credit for reaching out to you.

artwork by  CBJ J                      Eating Peas and Cheese

I've needed to.
At least I am attempting to explain my point of view.
I wouldn't have gotten this far without venting once in a while. 
Sharing my thoughts here has saved me more often than you will ever know.
Right now, I can't create my art.  I have no ambition to create and creating is what I do best.
My head is teetering on the edge.

I am sick of medical issues and my depression pairing up against me.

I have dropped many of my friends. 

In my defense, I can't take them anymore.

You shouldn't have to work at being friends with someone. 

It is better just to let go.

You broke my trust and (my heart) and our friendship is really damaged.

Now it's just me.  Ha! (Me in control of my own life?)

2016 Preview News:

1. Will I stay or do I go?

2. Who do I trust in this transition?

3. Will my health overshadow everything else?


            #making choices    #transition     #no longer friends


Friday, December 18, 2015

"Tis the Season

Today, I thought it would be funny to stand on a corner with a cardboard sign which read:

    "Honk if you are broke and depressed this Christmas."

I am sure it would upset the "Keep Christ in Christmas"    %
The (to quote an ad this season) the 4-letter word we want to hear the most of all is L-O-V-E and not S-A-L-E.                      %
have Bah-Humbug written all over them.

I started one of those annoying "How my year went this year- Christmas 2015" letters, but I couldn't get it to Rhyme or have a good Rap, or be less depressing than spilling fresh baked cookies on the floor. Yes, "Tis the season.

Called old friends  Except some really are as bad as you
                               had remembered.
Invited old friends over for dinner. When did they start only eating healthy?  (I fixed fried pork chops and cheese potatoes.)
When did postage cost more than the gift itself?
Called the old romance man.... my hands were too shaky to text.
(He doesn't seem to remember anything about why I ended it.)
Minimal decorations in my home = minimal acknowledgement of the holiday. Remembering past Christmases, none were all that great.  Now, you are spending more time with your -Doctors- & -Therapists- than actual Family.
Bill paying for basic utilities hovers over you like a buzzard. Is the credit card my salvation?
B smart, B healthy, B sober--B strong, show some common sense.
Don't cry about all this stuff anymore.  People don't want to hear it.
I don't want to hear it.  Just EAT the Christmas goodies, kiss and hug your dog, as if they were friends and family. Worry less. 
Who says you need your car with the heater out, and low on gas?

Sit, stay, sew and repeat.  Santa will be here soon, lovely as that may sound.  Then another year comes along and you start over again.  That's says it all.  It didn't rhyme, and had a bad rap.
Love you (my 2 children) and to my special folks-- you know who you are.  Praying for you dear MC, and JJ, and those too weak to speak.
#bad Christmas  #broke and depressed  #holiday  #reality #home for Christmas #depression heads 

Sunday, December 13, 2015

Facebook Face-Off

Like millions if not zillions of people, I have been on Facebook for years.  I took a short leave once but returned. 

Then, crash, A-boom and a bang, my cell phone and laptop died around the same time. So when things were back on track and I had my cell phone and laptop back in working order, I tried to get back on Facebook- not so much to post- but to catch up on my friend's news.

EXCEPT once you are snookered into the (Sad)book site, and with their security so tight, it is hard to even claim you are who you are.

I have tried to get back on.  I have tried their help desk. I have tried Googled, and wikiHow, I've read and asked my friends... but no luck yet. 

On December 1, 2015, Zuckerberg and Chan announced the birth of their daughter Max, and in an open letter to Max, they pledged to donate 99% of their Facebook shares, then valued at $45 billion, o the Chan Zuckerberg Initiative, their new charitable foundation with focuses on health and education. The donation will not be given to charity immediately, but over the course of their lives.
Okay I'll give you that!!

                          Did you know MZ is color blind and that's why everything is blue?       
                                  Wow- Good to know!!      
                Good Art Teacher info:  Green  or  Red ?

Mark, (Mark Zuckerberg) are you listening??  I know you're up with the new baby and all- but do you expect us to all be Harvard graduates to understand your security system? I just want to be ME.

Unfortunately, there is no one really employed there at (Sad)book.  Yes, you can only read common Q & A's and if your question doesn't appear, you are out of luck. So I tried to outsmart(Sad)book and make a new account. (Only) NO!! My cell phone number has changed, so my "security" phone number has changed and I can't get anyone to realize I am a real person, not a dead cell phone number, I no longer have access to any of it.
The people (if they work there at all)suggest you send a picture with your photo ID to them. But to who??? If I can't reach a real (Sad)book employee, do you think I am going to send them my ID?

So, my friends CRAZY ALERT:

I did enter my new cell phone number to see if they would accept that. Still no response from them. I did however, hear from a snake
in wolves clothing. "Hey, Baby...." (He found my new number.)

#Mark Zuckerberg #Crazy  #picture ID  #wikiHow  #security

Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Does Panic Do Me Any Good?

                  P-A-N-I-C is such a part of me, and it happens
                         so often to me.
                         Panic goes beyond worry for me. 
                         The reality is this:
                         I do panic. It may be irrational to most people,
                         but when I panic, it makes me think: I have
                         to solve this "problem--" or the worse
                         will happen to me.

                         Normal people:
                        Why I better think what to do about this?
                         Real people solve their own problems.
                         Real people don't think it's a big deal.
                         Life happens-- you either deal with it or ignore

                         Then we can talk about me....
                         Everything with me is: This is it!!
                         This is the big one!! I have been waiting for 
                          you. This the end of the world.

                         At least I recognize it now.
                        Someone contacted me about an
                        art commission today.  Can I say YIPPEEE!
                        Fortunately, the end of the world was yesterday,
                        not today,
                                   when I calmly discussed a
                                   huge opportunity. 
                                   She seemed very interested in my
                                   work, and I held my breathe.
                                   -Just like it happens everyday.

#panic        #artist mind      # depression recovery  #art quilts
#work big 

Sunday, December 6, 2015

Recent Artwork

I've BEGUN to be a painter again too.   My fiber arts has a new friend.  Turns out my painting were hiding inside of me with the rest of my thoughts.  I took Beginning Painting for 5 weeks.  First time since painting class in1975. Woo Hoo!

Still Life with Salt Shaker  by Cathy Jeffers

Creek by Cathy Jeffers

Lady in a Black Hat  by Cathy Jeffers

Who I Could Be!

    Imagine the person could be, if not for my reality.

    Depression is real.
    I struggle with it every day. Some days it hits me with pain.
    Other days it is fatigue and sometimes it is a desire to make 
    decisions.  So imagine my surprise when I come to find out my
    insurance company is now calling me high risk for making two
    claims in three years. I am in the penalty box!

Remembering My Carpet

This is the aftermath of frozen pipes and my carpet.