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Monday, August 31, 2015

Analyze Me


Yes.  She is smart and has a degree in PSYCHOLOGY.
She is also just a hair past 23.
What she does say is "I don't think you heard ME."
"Projecting"  "Re-Framing" her six years of education has its effect on me.

So do I tell her she is full of Words and Schooling the same way I was as an infant in my education at a a hair past 23?

I was going to be a scholar, a doctor, a PhD. 
None of which happened because
 I had no faith in me.

I would make excuses for why I might fail. Worthy or not, it was too hard,
too far, too something I was just so ashamed of me. 
 Then I would have moments... a period or two of smooth sailing, blissful never fear, depression subsides and I would climb and soar.  Nothing could stop me now!!
I would enjoy seeing my success, my confidence and swagger, and know that this was the way the road was suppose to be.  OH YES!!!

Until right around that bend was the biggest damn boulder just sitting in the road waiting for me.

Yeah, I'll acknowledge that you have your degree and pink "love is" posters and tiny toes painted with pink nail polish and fingers pointing at me.  You are just being a confident analysist ready to strike out at me. Sit there woman, pretend to know my pain.  Just go ahead and write a parody of my life on your lap top with bullet-ed notes going 1...2...3...ready to analyze me.  
...........................................................................................................................

#hanging on       #the words you can't get out of your head
#what depression pain feels like   #irritability  #frustration  #acknowledge you are depressed
#community of artists with depression
#depression fears  #doubts   #anyone but me  #therapy  #blissful  #artist  #art
#google+  




Wednesday, August 19, 2015

Addition of Content- Social Media

I don't know about you, but social media
is starting to annoy me.  
Maybe, not "starting to"-- how about a big fat war?
I can't tell who to believe anymore.  Is everything necessary?  Or is the world now divided by not only the have and "have-nots," but the ones that are cyber- sophisticated and those who check out the Computers for Dummies Books.  If you took all the F's, P's, and G's in the world, you would still only touch a few.






Like a bad relationship, it is hard to walk away from the sweet, cute ones --even though you know you should.




Tuesday, August 18, 2015

Posting: Should I Continue?


 

Not sure I have it in me to continue to write Depression Heads. So much is piling up lately.

Nothing I can do about 90% of it.


The Deep depression I have is chronic.
But do people with a similar depression (or not) want to stay and read about it?  Real pain + depression = laying in bed for hours.

Who is the bastard that gave me this depression?



I think I'll post lots and lots of cute puppies and kittens.
Just to GET someone's attention.

 Image result for puppies  
 


If not for me?  Then will I manage to support others?

P.s. My daughter has it too.  She sent me an email describing her latest run on depression mode.  I think depression runs in families and I am so sorry she has it too.
_______________________________________________________________________
#creative people  #artistic vision  #creative minds
#high achievers with depression   #face2face  #depression is real  #caught up in my own depression #depression override
#genius  #highly talented  #gifted  #sorry about your depression   #debilitating depression  #depression heads
#change  #lovely daughter   #hello  #sad and lonely

Wednesday, August 5, 2015

Friendship

There is something ironic to being older.  When you are young, you look and somehow you find a path, which leads you to getting an education, a job, personal relationships, family, a social life, giving of yourself.
Your friends are found mostly from school and interests.


The women in my circle of friends have come and gone.  Old friend step aside and new friends enter. Some of my really old pals come back and new friends drop out of my life. Lately, the new friends come by way of social media you know you'll never meet, yet you talk all the time. I don't understood this. Can someone explain this?

Too needy seems weird and awkward. Too indifferent seems like you don't care. When contact is sparse... I wonder why.  Yes, I don't get it.