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Sunday, July 31, 2016

How to Give A Therpist The Boot

I have been seeing a different therapist while my regular mental health therapist is unavailable. I am ready to stop see them and I will tell you why.

  • A therapeutic session should feel like a chat with an old friend. If it is not, you need to make a change. Whether the therapist is highly qualified, smart, funny, good looking, or anything else that appeals to you, if you don't speak your heart, you are talking to the wrong person.
  • My wrong Joe therapist talks the therapy headlines well. He knows the basics and reminds me that everything has a root cause. Sometimes however, I can't put my finger on it, even with his coaching and I become anxious that I can't find the word he wants me to say.
  • SHAMING- Shaming is a good word.  I can fit a lot of my bad mental health issues in this category. But what about all the rest?
  • Shaming didn't make my body hurt, my body tremor, my words fail me. I have lots of other issues- more than I would want to list here that have appeared as I have grown older.
A therapist should not annoy you.  Find one that can stay awake.
Find one that doesn't look like a deer in the headlights, an obnoxious Donald Trump type, a Mr. "I have a degree in this," or a meek individual with nothing that you can take away from the session.
YOU have to do the work.  It might mean you go through a box of tissues at their office, or twist your keys until you hand hurts, but you need to feel "cleansed" by the time you walk out of your appointment.

  • Forewarn the therapist that you are thinking that this is a bad match. You might do this at the beginning of the last session, or give it one more try.
  • Don't engage in anything that makes you need to defend yourself.  Be assertive and say "This isn't working."
  •  Believe in your recovery! Know enough that you won't waste your time with someone who causes you grief and fails to help you. Don't waste valuable time hanging on when they bothered you from the beginning.
  • Ask friends and family for suggestions on who to go to.  Call and ask questions about the therapist's specialty. 
  • You will get better sooner and be happier.
#picking a therapist  #support   #changing your therapist  #mental health therapist


Speaking Up

It is hard to believe, but depression has actually left me unable to speak up for myself in many cases until recently. I accepted the negative opinion of others as the truth-- when I knew they were wrong about me.

Imagining anything but day after day with depression seems impossible. It certainly did for me. But there is hope.

When I got the stupid news I started to cry.
Don't I get a say in my own medical care? Who makes up these "goals" and "status" and makes them concrete- when there is nothing about being in a rehab facility that is concrete.

I do have a voice. I am in more danger trying to find the right bed height to climb out of bed than the benefits of sleeping inches from the floor.

My therapy is starting to wear on me. Who does the same exercises day after day for a month? I am stronger- but I was not able to rush the process.  I am not a machine from which you can demand an instant response. For once in my life, instead of an "A" performance, I've accepted a "B" since I was able to that, without degrading myself.

You see me at my worse because I dislike and don't trust you so I don't preform well for you. You would never understand my story of physical and mental limitations. I am not a cardboard stand-in for a fat person who sits back and doesn't try. I am harder on myself than anyone that I know. Look for the real me- not the one you see failing. I am speaking up and speaking up loudly. _______________________________
#fat people  #physical therapy  #judgement
#feeling hopeless  #danger  # sleeping well
#insomnia  #making things worse

Saturday, July 23, 2016

Another Pill?

Since getting into this rehab center-- I have also had two infections. In each case the first response from the doctors was to give me antibiotics.
I am not opposed to the use of antibiotics at all. But when I complained that the one antibiotic made me dizzy, the doctors did not change the antibiotic, they added another pill for the dizziness.
I have taken two pills for dizziness now, and this afternoon, I slept for five hours. I told the nurse and she confirmed that a side effect of the of the drug
was sleepiness. So I am writing to ask is one more pill really the answer?

Friday, July 15, 2016

No Longer Timid

I've been away from Depression Heads because of my surgery.

I am in a rehabilitation center working on rehab for my foot. I have been here for nearly three weeks and the whole experience reminds me that there are different types of REALITY.  If I were at home, I had a routine, my mood was up and down, but at the end of the day, I thought I knew myself.

I didn't realize how timid I was. Sad, but this experience has made me realize how a timid I can be.  I tried to wait it out instead of asking for what I really needed.

As a person with anxiety, I would always put myself last. It felt my friends and family always came first. Now, that I am in not in "Reality" my timid character had to be amped up a lot. I am in rehab now and totally dependent on nursing staff for my every need- from using the toilet to getting around in my wheelchair, checking my foot for swelling, meals, and the PUSH from physical therapy to move beyond my current strength.

This is my third week at getting better. My small quilts are keeping m company and SANE.


#hash this out     #thankful      #getting better