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Wednesday, January 27, 2016

A Kiss From A Dying Man





A wonderful friend of mine is dying from cancer.  He was diagnosed nearly a year to the day. He is in Hospice now.

Today, I saw how he has grown weaker from my last visit.  He is often sleeping from all the medication, and sitting up in his chair is a big deal.  When I arrived, his son was with him, and barely leaves his father's side.  I peeked in the room and the other visitor shook her head it in a manner to convey things were not looking good. I left immediately and went for a cup of coffee and thought- should I stay or should I go?

I drank my coffee and decided to peeked in again.  This time he was much more alert and his son got me a chair.  I wanted to smile and chat and appear cheerful for my friend.  I only got a sentence or two out when my tears came and I could no longer speak. I thanked him for everything he had done for me, what a great person he is, and how much he meant to me. He moved forward and I called for his son because I thought he wanted to sit up or get back into bed.  I proceeded to move out of the way. "No he said. You stay there."  Then, leaning towards me, with the gentlest of pressure, he kissed my cheek.

___________________________________#hospice______________________________________

#thekiss    #artist 

Sunday, January 24, 2016

Depression Support


I am going to go out on a limb here and give advice to someone who "baffled me" the other day. He recently made a remark to me about his views on depression. 

 He is someone that understands depression exists, but believes, depression is a state of mind followed by a tragedy.  He has felt depression himself, but this was only after his own parents died, first one and then the other about six months later. He was also drinking a lot, and his work suffered. He had to work late and on weekends to catch up with what he was unable to finish during his normal hours. This was his experience with depression.

When we met, he had recently divorced and he was in another state of depression.  He denied the divorce, and assumed there would be a reconciliation, but unfortunately, it never came.  He grew bitter about how his ex-wife could treat him so badly.  All these years together- he kept saying, family time, all gone.

I did everything I could short of standing on my head to make him feel better.  I showed him the spirit of forgiveness, and moving on. We became pals and confidantes and things were good.

Depression support doesn't always united two friends. I have been up and down with my on depression, but mostly, I've been stable and laughed when I sensed the depression coming around again. Will it fade?  Is it my imagination? But no-- like a chilly wind at first it then builds momentum until you feel tossed about by a windstorm and all you really want to do is keep your own feet planted on the grown. 
  • You can lie and act like you don't have any depression symptoms.
  • You can talk to friends about it- until you are regretting ever saying a word.
  • You can do something positive.
  • You can request more drugs from the doctor.
  • You can tell  *****>THE RIGHT PERSON<*****
          and feel like you are not being judged.
  • I have one or two friends who are this generous.
     = Be this wonderful person=
     Develop this skill.  It may seem silly, but just saying you

        understand or to LISTEN... will help  THE STRUGGLE.

     If you love them, show it.
     Don't say things will get better- unless IT'S
     Never happened before.
         Deeply depressed people experience frequent cycles of depression. 
         It is not unlikely to have this happen three or four times per year. 
         A depressing event and a depressive episode are not the same. 

        Being Overly Confident that YOUR Depressed Friend, Spouse, Child, Parent, Co-worker, is
        just FINE and will feel better in a few days is overly simplistic.
       Check on them today, tomorrow and a month from now.  They don't wear
        a re-set button on their forehead or a keep notes on their depression building.  It just happens.

      Are those violins playing the sun will come out tomorrow?

_____________________________________________________________________
   #bekindrewind   #speakingmymind     #depressionhelp   #friends with depression

Tuesday, January 12, 2016

"Snap Out of It!"





Imagine a world where even SMART People Understood we're not making this up.  That our heads really are wired differently. That medications do help us and keep us from believing how hard it is to function in this world.  We do it everyday, but sometimes it is so hard not to want to scream. STOP judging me.


One of my celebrity GODDESSES is CHER, so imagine how amused I was when my MHP used the image of Cher saying Snap Out Of It to describe my astonishment that when I mentioned to my doctor today that I suffered from depression, his attitude was "Get it Together-" 
I didn't hear what he said after that because I was already feeling my  heart slumping in my chest.


I am going to trust this man with major surgery, and his mouth is going "WAH-WAH-WAH" telling me to get my act together? I understand a positive attitude, but damn, if I knew where that "RE-SET" button was, don't you think I would have pushed it by now?  Just think of me sitting there with my frozen face and acting like everything was great.

Do I start all over with a new doctor?  How hard would that be? (Hopefully finding a doctor with an understanding about depression?) Or do I suck it up like I always do?

___________________________________________________________________________


# Depression Goddess          #another disappointment
# do doctor's understand?     #my reset button

Monday, January 11, 2016

How to Make a Decision


Recently, I've had a big decision to MAKE
and I have been thinking about it for weeks.


There are many Pro's and Con's.


Today may have been the strangest (or sweetest) day of my life in a long while.  Despite, really grinding my brain raw over it, openly chatting about it with a friend, bringing it to my MHP attention,
the real tip of the scales came today, when I was telling a stranger about it and she said-

                          Do it   "YOU ARE WORTH IT"  You will figure out how
                                   to make your art even if you have problems at first.

So make your list,                             Pros                Cons


              Then wait for the Guardian Angel, or that Sweet Person of the day to come along.


#11:11






Wednesday, January 6, 2016

Oh Mr. Wrong (Re-Mix)

 

How you mess with my head! That place is pretty wicked already, and your shenanigans just add to the mix.  Yes, shenanigans.
Image result for quote for liars

SOME DAY isn't fair, and isn't good enough.

Sunday, January 3, 2016

New Year '16



No New Year's Resolutions for me.  I figure what ever happens,
will happen, and there is not much I can do about it- less all the 
SUGAR intake of this holiday season----I hope to be back to normal soon.  
HA HA HA HA!



Starting out 2016 with a doctor's appointment tomorrow
to determine if I go for surgery or not.

Plantar Fasciitis,Pes Planus,Mallet Toe,High Arched Feet,Heel Spur,Heel Pain,Hammer Toe,Hallux Valgus,Foot Pain,Foot Hard Skin,Foot Conditions,Foot Callous,Flat Feet,Fallen Arches,Diabetic Foot,Contracted Toe,Claw Toe,Bunions Hard Skin,Bunions Callous,Bunion Pain,Ball Of Foot Pain,Back Pain
Can I do recovery alone? Rehab? Home Health?

                       It has been looming for three years, but it's looking to be necessary now.
                                            What will I do with my fur-legged friend?
The heck with the  rest of it all.  After all everything is 50-50%.


Here is a GREAT read for us Depression Heads.

https://projecthelping.org/the-layers-of-depression/

. . . . . . . . . . . . . . .

I did some painting on/off the G/R/I/D yesterday.
Acrylic paint on raw canvas.

Share some art time with a friend. 




#Sew in the Moment
by Cathy Jeffers