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Sunday, March 22, 2015

The Really Big FearFul Thing

(See last posting)

The really Big Fearful Thing is...

I will never be completely well.  My brain's wire has frayed and I am so use to the cycle I don't know what to think anymore.

If I were a dancer I would be really good at dancing backwards, my romantic interest of years ago would move away, people I don't want to deal with wouldn't want my attention so much, I would wake up saying- what a great day to do something really  productive and I would have already made my lasting contribution to the world, and I could wear the clothes that are like pj's out in public and no one would care.

No REALLY  Being both depressed, sleepy, and having little motivation is no fun.

(Fill in your thought here.............)

I really want to do my hair up in dreadlocks.  It would go with my mood.

Oh and I miss all the sugar too.
                     I re-live my life with the crazy bullies, and remember the  (ME)
before all the harm was done.

Will the doctor acknowledge that the people will mental illness are hard to treat?
Will he think it's my job?
I don't like the groups, the agencies, the helping hand of any of them.  I don't fit in.
I know this because I was able to hide my mental state for years.  YES you  stupid nurse, you don't yell  "Do you have anxiety problem to me where everyone in the office can hear."
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