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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

The Christmas Shuffle

Bare in mind I have nothing against Christmas.  MOST people enjoy everything it has to offer.  The REASON, the lights, family and friends, cooking, baking, gift giving....etc.  So why do I feel like Christmas is for everyone else?

The ROOT of Christmas happiness starts at a young age.  For me, it was the silver tree with the spinning lights.  The Christmas Santa on our roof that fell over regularly and every day my dad crawled on the roof to make Santa stand up again.  It meant delicious brownies with an orange frosting handmade from my mom's friend, and toys.

I still have my Pebbles doll--as I was a Flintstone Fanatic, and in heaven for several years.  My life evolved around their "play village," a yellow record of the Yabba-Dabba-Do song and eating.  I know it would be considered a collectable, but the poor doll has nearly no hair left since her hair was rubbed bald by me.

The flip side, speaking of records, were the ARGUMENTS.  My brother fought with  my dad, my dad often had to leave to go into work, my mom wanted more than my
dad had given and my brothers teased and tickled me into begging for mercy.

The whole Christmas day of happiness lasted nearly an hour for the gift exchange,
and then life returned to normal for the chubby kid ( Me).

It normally meant a family in turmoil.  I hated Christmas for years.  Not until my children were born-- did Christmas become remotely fun again.  My now X-
husband wouldn't even get out of bed Christmas morning.  (He hated Christmas because his dad would get on a sugar buzz and be hateful.)  My girls were set
to open their gifts and their dad-- wanted to put it off until say- 2:00 p.m.

I got the show going with hot coffee, cocoa, cinnamon rolls and a bribe.  Once my girls open their gifts, they were content playing the rest of the day.  We had a tree then, but now I haven't put one up in 15 years.

Christmas for me now is usually spent alone, watching t.v. and waiting for the phone to ring.  Maybe an old friend will call.  Last year, my meds were seriously out of control, and I was crying my eyes out-- so this will be a much improved season.

Cooking a turkey is so much easier.  A True Thanksgiving Blessing.   I have been giving gifts and food to my friends- those that work and yet can 't get a head.  Yes, me, sharing what I pick up, for little money.

This "depression head" is getting better mentally, and more able to see the holidays for what they are.  Tomorrow I will cook ahead, and enjoy what I can.  Christmas is a month away- so I will put thoughts of it out of my head-- think of the shuffle when it comes.

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