After a big push always comes the let down.
We all let out a sigh when a big project is done, but for people like me there is the sigh, the endless sleeping, isolation, eating, (especially sugar), mind wandering and feelings of what happens now?
For several days now, I have meant to: clean up my work space, do laundry, walk the dog, get Christmas decorations out, get my dressy outfit picked out, feel charged.
I n s t e a d :
I have watched multiple episodes of Cops, ate comfort food, sat around looking out the window,
slept 10-12 hours, denied all of my issues, felt sluggish, everything took too much effort, didn't wash my hair, took twice the time to do something simple because I couldn't imagine the logically way, left the same two pennies laying on the floor for four days, ignored the dirty bathroom, and doubted myself. I mean really doubted myself.
I told my friend "I was use to feeling rejected." She was bothered by that comment. I meant no harm- only stating the truth.
The monthly weather test alarm went off while I was calling to make a doctor's appointment today. The office worker kept telling me she couldn't hear me. I wondered if the ringing of the alarm had anything to do with the signal she was getting from my cell phone. I was going to say something, but figured she would think I was weird. Who makes a phone call and blames the ringing of the test alarm that she couldn't hear me? Maybe I am on to something real and scientific. We will never know. That's what happens when you have doubts.
ART WORK by Cathy Jeffers
I need some income right now to pay off monthly bills. I am putting this out in the world in hopes that somehow, it will be received by someone who hears, and can let this unknown source of money be found somehow.
I was reading another depression blog and I want to share. Good reading about depression and an award winner. Her addiction is shopping.
#I am depressed #depression #my symptoms of depression #depression and sleeping #the release