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Monday, August 31, 2015

Analyze Me


Yes.  She is smart and has a degree in PSYCHOLOGY.
She is also just a hair past 23.
What she does say is "I don't think you heard ME."
"Projecting"  "Re-Framing" her six years of education has its effect on me.

So do I tell her she is full of Words and Schooling the same way I was as an infant in my education at a a hair past 23?

I was going to be a scholar, a doctor, a PhD. 
None of which happened because
 I had no faith in me.

I would make excuses for why I might fail. Worthy or not, it was too hard,
too far, too something I was just so ashamed of me. 
 Then I would have moments... a period or two of smooth sailing, blissful never fear, depression subsides and I would climb and soar.  Nothing could stop me now!!
I would enjoy seeing my success, my confidence and swagger, and know that this was the way the road was suppose to be.  OH YES!!!

Until right around that bend was the biggest damn boulder just sitting in the road waiting for me.

Yeah, I'll acknowledge that you have your degree and pink "love is" posters and tiny toes painted with pink nail polish and fingers pointing at me.  You are just being a confident analysist ready to strike out at me. Sit there woman, pretend to know my pain.  Just go ahead and write a parody of my life on your lap top with bullet-ed notes going 1...2...3...ready to analyze me.  
...........................................................................................................................

#hanging on       #the words you can't get out of your head
#what depression pain feels like   #irritability  #frustration  #acknowledge you are depressed
#community of artists with depression
#depression fears  #doubts   #anyone but me  #therapy  #blissful  #artist  #art
#google+  




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