More Surgery and My Depression

I suffer from having too many conditions which require surgery. The last time I counted them up this next surgery will be my #15.


                                   

It is nothing I expected out of my life, but since 2000, surgery really has been one after another. To say my health is a mess is putting it mildly. My mom and dad had two or three surgeries, that I remember, but nothing like this.

It has caused me pain, obviously, but it has also worn me out, made me choose staying at home rather than going out, missed vacations, graduations, fun-get-togethers, gardening, walking my dog, and a feeling of "is this all there is?"

I have gotten to the point of predicting what the doctor may say before my appointment. The technology that allows you to see your test results prior to the visit helps-- but sometimes it is so obvious. I even look up my conditions on the internet - to console my fears. But that isn't good because the doctor's view is often less severe as the description I had just read.
I have two good friends who are doctors, but never ask them, because I know I am not their patient and this is unappropriated.

My family doctor who sends me to all these specialists for their opinion, then gets mad when they put me on more and more medicine or suggest surgery. He has become my non-supporter.

As I face my next surgery, I am not concerned about the procedure. I know I will manage, but this becomes harder each time.  Pain on top of pain is hard to explain.

I know of at least two more surgeries I will need. That sort of puts things in perspective. I may need to write more on this topic.

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#another surgery   #recovery   #health concerns   #perspectives of poor health  #medical specialists