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Wednesday, March 22, 2017

Isolation Vs. The People Out There

I never really knew how important isolation was to me. After all, by choosing isolation, I don't have to discuss all the pain I am feeling. My silence is by choice, even if it does cause a longer road to recovery. When I do share, I want to share my feelings with my therapist who is 1) trained in mental health or 2) people who have experience depression first hand, or read a lot and understand the devastation of depression.

For me, complaining about my mental and physical health does me little good. I want to shut up to people with whom I share the table.

But, here is the truth. I use to be fearful that others would judge me because of my mental illness and now, my constant physical problems. I felt I would be stigmatized.

  How could anyone understand that I was once active and funny and danced around a classroom, serving up crayons, paints and paper and stretched hundreds of young peoples imaginations as an art teacher?

  Last weekend I met a woman who had no fear being the Snarkiest person I have ever met.

When the subject came up about my health, and I started to explain, she actually said: 

"excuse me while I get a tissue to wipe my tears."   

 That was wrong, just plain wrong, on so many levels.

I think my biggest fear is that I will never get well again.

But, my second biggest fear is that I will meet others who want to pass me up, make me their victim and laugh about it.

NO. I have grown stronger than that. I will not let you and your narrow vision judge me.

                                            Sunset   By CBJ

#art  #isolation  #insults  #speak up   #don't judge  #get well    #not a victim  #community #depression  #joy  #mental health

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