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Sunday, September 18, 2016

My Adventures with Mr. Wrong

Mr. Wrong has been MIA lately. After telling me he would come by to check on me after surgery, he(simply)hasn't. That is bad enough, but it has been one thing after another and the "B" word he always uses is he is  BUSY. 

--Ever seen that thing on the internet that says when a man tells you they are busy, it's just another word for being an "@ss...e." (Forgive me.) 

Anyhow today's discussion was that I told him that he was really showing signs of being depressed. His response: he agreed.

But Mr. Wrong has it all wrong. When I pressed him (via text) that he should get some help and possibly some medication, he said NO.  No to probably getting some help and no to pills.  He is content and satisfied with how things are.

I shared with him that I am currently more stable than ever. I have felt balanced and content in my head for nearly 9 months, and I am looking forward to this being a constant in my life. YAHHH for me. I see a therapist, medical doctor and take my medicine.
It is so strange to feel good, but it is also wonderful. Imagine me with a balanced head= not going into that VERY DARK place where negative past experiences play on re-wind. I never forgive myself, I think the worse, and  I am stagnant. I eat and sleep as much as possible and then sit around doing nothing but staring at the ceiling and thinking about things that I really can't do anything about anyhow.
I would rather make art.

Please link to:

Feelings of helplessness and hopelessness. A bleak outlook—nothing will ever get better and there’s nothing you can do to improve your situation.
  • Loss of interest in daily activities. You don’t care anymore about former hobbies, pastimes, social activities, or sex. You’ve lost your ability to feel joy and pleasure.
  • Appetite or weight changes. Significant weight loss or weight gain—a change of more than 5% of body weight in a month.
  • Sleep changes. Either insomnia, especially waking in the early hours of the morning, or oversleeping.
  • Anger or irritability. Feeling agitated, restless, or even violent. Your tolerance level is low, your temper short, and everything and everyone gets on your nerves.
  • Loss of energy. Feeling fatigued, sluggish, and physically drained. Your whole body may feel heavy, and even small tasks are exhausting or take longer to complete.
  • Self-loathing. Strong feelings of worthlessness or guilt. You harshly criticize yourself for perceived faults and mistakes.
  • Reckless behavior. You engage in escapist behavior such as substance abuse, compulsive gambling, reckless driving, or dangerous sports.
  • Concentration problems. Trouble focusing, making decisions, or remembering things.
  • Unexplained aches and pains. An increase in physical complaints such as headaches, back pain, aching muscles, and stomach pain.

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    #mr.wrong  #crush me  #understanding depression  #ignoring depression   #art is therapy

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