I am going to go out on a limb here and give advice to someone who "baffled me" the other day. He recently made a remark to me about his views on depression.
He is someone that understands depression exists, but believes, depression is a state of mind followed by a tragedy. He has felt depression himself, but this was only after his own parents died, first one and then the other about six months later. He was also drinking a lot, and his work suffered. He had to work late and on weekends to catch up with what he was unable to finish during his normal hours. This was his experience with depression.
When we met, he had recently divorced and he was in another state of depression. He denied the divorce, and assumed there would be a reconciliation, but unfortunately, it never came. He grew bitter about how his ex-wife could treat him so badly. All these years together- he kept saying, family time, all gone.
I did everything I could short of standing on my head to make him feel better. I showed him the spirit of forgiveness, and moving on. We became pals and confidantes and things were good.
Depression support doesn't always united two friends. I have been up and down with my on depression, but mostly, I've been stable and laughed when I sensed the depression coming around again. Will it fade? Is it my imagination? But no-- like a chilly wind at first it then builds momentum until you feel tossed about by a windstorm and all you really want to do is keep your own feet planted on the grown.
- You can lie and act like you don't have any depression symptoms.
- You can talk to friends about it- until you are regretting ever saying a word.
- You can do something positive.
- You can request more drugs from the doctor.
- You can tell *****>THE RIGHT PERSON<*****
and feel like you are not being judged.
- I have one or two friends who are this generous.
= Be this wonderful person=
Develop this skill. It may seem silly, but just saying you
understand or to LISTEN... will help THE STRUGGLE.
If you love them, show it.
Don't say things will get better- unless IT'S
Never happened before.
Deeply depressed people experience frequent cycles of depression.
It is not unlikely to have this happen three or four times per year.
A depressing event and a depressive episode are not the same.
Being Overly Confident that YOUR Depressed Friend, Spouse, Child, Parent, Co-worker, is
just FINE and will feel better in a few days is overly simplistic.
Check on them today, tomorrow and a month from now. They don't wear
a re-set button on their forehead or a keep notes on their depression building. It just happens.
Are those violins playing the sun will come out tomorrow?
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#bekindrewind #speakingmymind #depressionhelp #friends with depression
